'Til You Drive Us Crazy 1

It was probably the most obvious thing ever.

Okay, maybe it was the second most obvious thing ever. Purple's dim-witness, according to Green, was by far the most obvious thing in the entire known Universe, transcending all time and space respectively. The rather straight bluntness of that brother even existed to this day, though he seemed to be getting the memo that when one "grows up", being a complete nitwit should change to a half-wit status. But then again, considering more recent family history, the fact that White and Gray were becoming notorious for bringing dead things in the house when they shouldn't, should really be another obvious thing, and Orange's bad habit of sticking a fork into a so-

Okay, stop. Stop right there. That train of thought was getting off topic. No, he was focusing on something very important right then, this wasn't the time to be checking off numbers!

He took a deep breath to refocus, his thoughts reconvening into order. Back to the essential point, right? The bottom line was that "it" was obvious. Noticeable. Public. However someone wanted to describe it, there were only the synonyms or near identical adjectives for the word "obvious" that could even scratch the surface of being accurate.

But as much as Blue could say that it was obvious to him, the two involved in the subject wouldn't say so. Maybe they didn't realize it, even if it was the pink elephant wearing a tutu and dancing with Fude in the room. Maybe they didn't care and thought it meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. But Blue knew, and knew it was a ticking time bomb waiting to happen.

After all, what else is to happen when it's apparently obvious to you that your oldest siblings are a married couple??

–

Now, this isn't to say they were married. Blue could say with a clear conscience that his brothers were not and had not ever been previously been married in their lives, however long they were. Despite one being close to thirty and one right over the hill, he had never known them to be seeking intimacy, especially that which came with the holy matrimony. The occasional flirt or "hottie watching" commenced every once in a while, but he had never known them to take it anywhere farther than that.

Still, had they the want for closeness? Had he simply never seen it? Cyan, while he had been with them, had always made it a point to subtly mention Aqua's rather unlucky street cred concerning women, who fell left and right whenever he winked at them. Brown? Well, he never spoke of any relationships that were very personal besides innocent friendships, though it would have made sense if he had the occasional courtship once in a awhile. He never asked the man directly, to let him keep his privacy, but he did have the guts to ask White once, when he and Black were tormenting Green.

White's eyebrows had fallen upon themselves as he thought the question over before heaving a helpless shrug. "Can't say for sure." he admitted, all while Green tried to knock him off, while simultaneously trying to pry off Black hanging around his neck. "He's never said a thing to me and he wasn't exactly the common social type when we lived on Anaxaes." Well then! Blue was left wondering the situation over while he watched, poker faced, White and Black drag the struggling green teen off, intending to have some very personal fun with him...

But the question still stood as to whether or not they longed to be married. Aqua liked to flirt with anyone that was willing, even if it was his own brother. There was always the episode that happened when Aqua would suddenly start flirting with one of their siblings, if not to creep them out, to actually start a funny conversation. As of late, Red had been on the receiving end, the elder male simply raising a brow in disinterest. He had responded once so far to deter his brother that he was in a committed relationship, which caused Jaune to start choking on his soft drink. Half the family start fretting over their yellow and pink tinged sibling, but Aqua had that secretive smile on his face. He leaned over to Green, nodding. "Pay up." he said, to which the teenager reluctantly handed him over an untold amount of credits.

..Well, with that incident replaying in his mind, Blue could probably guarantee the aquatic color wasn't too interested in marital affairs.

But what about Brown? Jumping off from the fact that the earth colored male seemed to have an aversion to men he didn't know over the age of twenty-five, Blue doubted he had any feelings that were for the same gender. Likewise, Brown seemed flustered around ladies, despite them being the same age or younger, unable to speak properly without a stutter. In fact, he seemed all too occupied trying to raise the rest of the family, now a whooping total of 12 individuals, including the brown man himself. Since the sad departure of their dearest brother, Brown had taken all the responsibilities he had, trying to keep everyone together. If a fight happened, he was there to break it up and clean up the mess. If someone was sick, he was there for them until their immune systems had cleansed their bodies of illness. With him around and doing all the work, it almost felt like Cyan had never left.

Which again, these facts made Blue very doubtful that Brown was seeking a marital status for his online page.

But what else could be said? No matter how hard he tried not to, he just couldn't see them not being married. To each other, at least. Yes, as disturbing as it was, it just seemed too obvious that if they weren't meant to be together, they at least made a damn good pair. But how so? Well...

–

Some of the first incidents that piqued these thoughts had been very innocent. The two seemed inclined to get into small arguments, usually about the most inane things to argue about. At one point it had been a not-so loud but still embarrassing topic of cleaning the good old white throne of the ship and who had the job of doing it. Aqua insisted that someone else could get to it, seeing as how it was just the bathroom and really, he had so many important things to be doing at the moment. Brown had rolled his eyes and entered the bathroom, before suddenly screeching: "For Esteemed One's sake Aqua, would it kill you to put the toilet seat down!?" While some tried to hold in their chortling, Aqua merely called in through the door:

"Would it kill you to glance down before you use it, brother?"

Yeah..that hadn't been a fun time. Still, there had been even stupider arguments between them. Forgetting about throwing away one's coffee grinds, using coasters while drinking said coffee...Aqua had his fair share of complaints to fire at Brown, so it wasn't as nearly one-sided as people might take it. For instance, not to long after the toilet episode, Aqua had come out in barely anything, letting everyone get a good look at his muscled yet pale skin. Blue had been talking with Kajura about training and the spirit had stopped mid-sentence to wolf whistle at the half-nude brother. Gray had stopped halfway between taking a bite out of his jam and toast, allowing Kapelás to steal it out of his hand. Everyone seemed intent on giving the usually clean and coot cat brother a weird look, all save for one.

Aqua was sending a rather dark glower at Brown, who sipped his lemonade quietly as if the tension in the air didn't bother him. It probably didn't, considering he only took one look at his scholarly brother and nodded in greeting. In one hand, the unkempt brother held one clean white shirt which he angrily thrust towards the other. "Brown dear?" he had gritted out, struggling to keep his reserved composure, "Would you happen to know where all of my clean clothes went?" Brown smiled smugly back up at him, victorious.

"Dearest brother!" he sighed dramatically. "I wouldn't have the faintest idea! I have so many other important things to attend to, I simply cannot focus all my precious time any cleaning clothes but my own! Perhaps if you pull your own weight, you shall find some clean drawers on your bed?" Almost half the room understood the reason for the smug tone and few let their smile show with their teeth. Aqua himself only turned darker, sourly dropping the shirt on Brown's lap before storming off.

Later that day, all the bathrooms had been cleaned so thoroughly one could (and was attempted, as Orange and Purple spilled dog food in one for Fude to lap up) eat off the ground of the tiled floor.

However, in twisted show of defiance, all of the seats for the toilets, sans the for the ones Zeba used regularly, were tapped up. Brown only gave the toilet a scathing look before slamming the door closed.

–

Already as one could see, the two bickered like a married couple. That hadn't been the extent of it. Money, politics, communication and all the like that were matters commonly affecting the relationship status of many couples affected them too; they quarreled over spending, got into arguments about listening, and once, as far as Blue could tell, had a fight over ice cream flavors.

Ice cream flavors.

Granted, the two had come to some sort of peaceful conclusion that Rhinomoth-tounge-flavored ice cream had to be the most disgusting thing they had ever tried in their lives, it didn't stop the fact that this was exactly how old married couples lived. If Blue tried hard enough, he could recall times when his own parents used to have the same inane arguments, though they had once, he remembers, gone so far as to argue what the importance over whacking a dead fish on a hook to tenderize the meat was to the flavor of it. They had tested the theory out and came to some very strange results...Regardless, if Brown and Aqua acted in the same manner that his own parents did, then that had to mean that something was between them.

Surely the relationship between his own parents wasn't the best. By the time things came to an end, their marriage had nearly been in shambles. 'But', he thought, looking at the siblings who were washing dishes together, 'that's because they couldn't compromise. Who's to say these two can't?' There were always those times they seemed absolutely enamored by each other, whether it was when Brown made an excellent dish or Aqua had proposed some new significant theory that left the family wide eyed and clapping. Who was to say they couldn't get along and, god forbid, enjoy a long life of domestic bliss??


A bottle of aged wine and a drunken service could say so.